Nothing gives a man more anxiety than going out on a first date. The potential of awkwardness, making an ass of yourself, or just picking the wrong place to take a woman on a date can drive a man crazy. This is something that we’ve all had experience with at one time or another. So how do I deal with this? I’m sure that you all know how I feel about one night stands and relationships, but what is my take on first dates?
I think men make a mistake by taking mature women anywhere that doesn’t involve intimacy. Sure, she might have fun, but do you want her to see you as a friend or as a potential boyfriend? So that’s criteria number one for me: we have to go somewhere intimate. This means no action dates, no lunches, and no dinners at crowded restaurants. I find that the more public that a place is, the less likely you or your date will just be yourselves, and the less romantic it will be. That alone creates anxiety, and is a probable reason why mature women flake.
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Secondly, I want to go somewhere where I can highlight one of my strengths and what I value most in mature women: good conversation and the ability to communicate. If we can’t be somewhere quiet and intimate where we can talk, then that’s not a place where I’m going on a date. If you’re going to take a woman on a date, then why would you want to go somewhere where you can’t highlight your strengths, and may actually have the opposite effect of displaying your weaknesses?
Moving on to specialty dates, why don’t I like them? Specialty dates are for couples that are really familiar with one another. Not because a specialty date requires familiarity, but because couples tend to be fickle when they aren’t going somewhere general. You might love bike riding, but she might hate it. You also might like art museums, but that might just be a little out there for her. Specialty dates just have awkwardness written all over them. It takes a little time to figure out things that you both will enjoy, and that’s why if I’m going to go on a first date, I’m going to go somewhere very general (General does not equal boring. It's only boring if you're a boring guy.).
So what do I do that creates intimacy and romance, lets me have good conversation, and is general enough to be something that we both will probably enjoy? Believe it or not, the best dates that I have been on were dates where we just went to my place or hers. Either we can go shopping at the grocery store, come back and make dinner; we can go to the movie rental store, rent a movie, come back, talk and watch it; or we can maybe go get takeout, and come back and watch a movie one of us already own. And the best thing about it is that she doesn’t have to get all dressed up. I actually had one mature girl show up in her pajamas.
Think about it, nothing says romance like cooking dinner together, bullshitting and joking around at the grocery or rental store, and having really good conversation about whatever. I know what some of you are thinking “No mature girl is going on a first date at my house or let me come to hers.”, and to that I say that if she likes you, she won’t mind. If she has any objection, just explain it to her, and if she likes you, she’ll understand. I’ve never had a problem or any objections from mature women when doing so. For me, dating is all about being comfortable, intimate, and creating a romantic scenario. A dinner and/or a movie at your place or hers creates all of this.
