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The Relationship between Happiness and Gratitude

  • This essay examines the role of happiness and gratitude in people’s lives and the relationship between them. It analyzes different approaches to gratefulness and its possible pitfalls and drawbacks. When people are grateful, they feel thankful for everything they have, either material things or not. They recognize kindness in their lives. As a result, gratitude helps people to connect to something bigger than themselves, to have the relations with other individuals, with God, or the whole world. It means that thankfulness gives human beings happiness and is an instrument for creating the social change. In positive psychology, the researchers associate gratitude with happiness. Being thankful helps people to be more positive, feel satisfied with their lives, and finally, create relationships with others. Gratitude is a great power that leads to the social change and progress.

    In his book Geek Heresy: Rescuing Social Change from the Cult of Technology, Kentaro Toyama reviews the contemporary studies of gratitude and connection of this notion with happiness. The source of the latter is not always inside a person, it is outside as it depends on many external factors. There are various ways to show gratitude. People can apply it to the past with positive memories and be thankful for some moments in childhood. They can be grateful for present events, taking the fortune or good luck not for granted but as a precious gift. Gratitude can also refer to future, when people are hopeful and perceive the world in an optimistic manner .

    People tend to think that gratitude is a very positive feeling. They are thankful to the higher power or other individuals as they realize that the sources of the goodness are outside of them. The essence of gratitude lies in the recognition of the connection with other individuals. When people practice appreciation, they realize that they have many gifts in their lives that they have never even conceived. One should not take those presents for granted as they are the product of someone’s support, assistance, open-heartedness, or contribution.

    However, there is a different thought about gratitude. Barbara Ehrenreich in her “The Selfish Side of Gratitude” thinks that it is selfish. She does not encourage thankfulness arguing that it is based on self-complacency and smugness being just a tool for a person to feel better. She writes that in case there is any feeling involved in gratitude, it is selfishness and the wish of personal happiness, not the well-being of others. Ms. Ehrenreich defines gratefulness as a device to support an unfaithful social order. The author writes that gratitude depends on who gives something and who receives it. 

    Speaking about the selfishness of gratitude, Ehrenreich does not take into account that this emotion is pro-social as it makes social change happen. Emmons defines gratefulness as a feeling that makes the relationships between people stronger as it needs awareness that others help us. Personally, I believe that it does not matter how gratitude develops, the concept of thankfulness is deeply social. Grateful people have better relationships with others, they are less greedy, and do not focus on solely materialistic issues. In other words, they are much happier. Such individuals make a great contribution to a positive social change. Gratitude changes people’s minds in the way that they stop taking everything good that happens in their lives for granted. This positive feeling of happiness that comes from thankfulness motivates individuals to pay it back, to share it with others.

    Gratitude is a tool for change. I think that Ehrenreich’s thought that thankfulness creates complacency or servility is wrong. Robert Emmons’ study has shown that people who express gratitude make more progress; they are more likely to achieve either individual or social goals. Gratefulness motivates them to work on some positive changes in their personal lives and in social life as well. Robert Emmons, who studies the psychological aspect of gratitude, argues that it has a beneficial impact on physical and mental health, makes both sides happier as they receive much pleasure. So, what is the difference between thankfulness and well-known and widespread nowadays positive thinking techniques and practices such as meditation, for example? As for me, there is a great distinction as gratitude is more social. It can be global, not individual, as it affects the whole society and leads to its progress. Every person has a lot to be thankful for. People can be grateful to the higher power, to a friend, relative, or teacher. Gratitude is not positive thinking. However, Ehrenreich mixes up thankfulness with the positive thinking techniques. She criticizes the approach in which people should always put on a happy face and escape sadness. Grateful individuals never suppress any negative emotions; they try to recognize and estimate sources of happiness in their lives.

    Gratitude is a beneficial instrument that makes relationships between people stronger. Speaking about the power of thankfulness, it can help to create a peaceful, happy, and prosperous society. It is an interesting question if happiness is all about people themselves, or a person’s well-being depends on other one’s welfare. In my opinion, social connections are essential to happiness as only individuals, who are satisfied with their lives, induce pro-social behavior: positive, friendly, helpful, and intended to promote social acceptance. In addition, people cannot be happy in isolation. Some researchers consider that it is difficult for the Americans to show gratitude. That is the reason why they suffer from the loneliness more than other nationalities.

    Ehrenreich’s essay can be useful and makes sense for people as a hint for understanding the potential problems of gratitude, but not as a critique of modern approach to thankfulness. One has to be aware of the selfish side of gratefulness, but there can be smugness in almost every emotion. Certainly, people can be kind to others only to make themselves feel good. Someone can be engaged in charity just to feel the importance of his or her personality. However, the studies show that even if gratitude has selfish reasons, people can still be connected to the socety and provide some social good. Sonja Lyubomirsky in The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want believes gratefulness to be the best strategy for achieving happiness. Certainly, saying “thank you” or writing a gratitude letter is good, but it is not enough as it does not involve any communication. As for me, only in case thankfulness involves real interaction with others, it can be fruitful and give rise to the real happiness.

    In conclusion, gratitude can not only improve social relationships but also increase public awareness, including contributing to the environment. It lets people free from anger and dissatisfaction; it helps to understand the role of other individuals who really helped to bring more benefits to the lives of others. It can increase self-esteem and make humans realize that positive changes and progress are possible. It is much better to be thankful for all good events and people in life than to feel that the world has owed everyone and a man has to be happy without any gratitude. Finally, gratefulness is a feeling that life is worth living. Happiness is a very similar emotion. Appreciation of everything that people have in their lives makes them happier, better, healthier, and kinder. I do not see anything selfish or smug about that. Personally, I think that gratitude is like a ticket to happiness. And it is not one-way ticket as people will never feel lonely if they are grateful. Gratitude, as well as good deeds, returns hundredfold, makes people happier, and leads to greater interaction between individuals and the social change.

    The essay was written by the professional writer from xxy movie analysis empire service - Molly Miles.